Michael-Bay Movie Reviews

The film starts aboard a steamer which is carrying a few passengers and (unknown to all, but the captain)illegal explosives. A storm comes up and most of the crew abandons the ship. The remaining crew and passengers end up in a sort of graveyard of old ships and debris. They run into killer seaweed, a shark (we only see a fin) and other strange creatures. Eventually they discover a group of Spanish conquistadors who are trying to pull the ship's crew into serving them. This lopsided script falls apart as it goes along, there are a number of annoying characters and the story goes from the improbable to the ridiculous. The monsters in this film are terrible! Hammer often did a good job of making a film look more expensive than, but instead of just giving brief glances they decided to give us close-ups of these "creatures" that look like rejects from an Irwin Allen show. The good points of this film are that it is not boring, it does have some good action and moves along fairly well. The cast also deserves credit for keeping straight faces throughout this film and really giving their best effort even when they faced hoses disguised as seweed, rubber monsters and balloon shoes. This film is worth seeing, but not one of Hammer's better moments.

Having read the novel "Uncharted Seas" by Dennis Wheatley i popped the DVD into the player and for the first time saw Hammers take of the novel, titled "The Lost Continent".

After reading some quite negative reviews for this film my hopes were not very high. Fortunately i was pleasantly surprised as the film was not a total loss. However there were too many changes from the novel. Firstly the heroic characters in the novel (particularly the captain, the drunk Englishman and the French officer) were totally missing in the film version. The whole explosives sub plot never occurred and was just a conveniant way of finishing the film. I did appreciate the seeweed (although not carnivorous in the novel), the squid creature and the giant crab on the island (minus the scorpion) were taken from the novel pretty much as is. Also great was the shipwreck graveyard and the eerie orange sky. And yes the natural gas filled balloons do make sense if you have read the novel.

The ending was a bit disappointing and seemed almost rushed. This is where the film really strayed. Many people would find the novel offensive because of its portrayal of coloured people. For this reason i fully understand and support the changes made, but even so the ending was nowhere near as exciting as it could have been.

Overall a decent effort by Hammer but not as good as the other Wheatley adaptation "The Devil Rides Out". Its a shame "The Haunting of Toby Jugg" was planned but never made by Hammer, it has great potential. Well maybe one day someone will make it.

Ah, I remember seeing "The Lost Continent" in the theater as a youth. There is one of those films where the sum is greater than the parts, especially since if you look at those parts it is all just too weird. A cargo ship flees port ahead of the harbor patrol, carrying a cargo of stuff that explodes when it makes contact with water, which makes the storm the ship heads into a bad thing. Abandoning ship, the motley crew and odd ball passengers encounter killer seaweed and end up finding their ship again in the Sargasso sea where they encounter monsters, a buxom wench and a trapped Spanish galleon carrying on the Spanish Inquisition. What gets us through this film is the remarkably solid cast, as good as you will ever see in a Hammer film: Eric Porter as the brooding Captain Lansen, Hildegard Knef as Eva Peters the former mistress of a brutal dictator, Tony Beckley as the lush Harry Tyler, Suzanna Leigh as the spoiled blonde brat Unity Webster, Nigel Stock as her unscrupulous father Dr. Webster, and good old Jimmy Hanley as Patrick the bartender. The opening "love them" might make you want to turn this one off and certainly you do not want to think about the story too seriously, but the acting and atmosphere carry this one off. I have a soft spot in my heart for this film, and probably in my brain as well.

Bigas Luna's movie-within-a-movie is handled expertly in this suspenseful horror/thriller about an audience watching a movie about a serial killer who is in the midst of a murder spree in a theater. Little does the audience know someone is actually emulating the same crime in their theater! Stylishly directed entertainment, Anguish's high point is its middle half-hour segment, a long, superbly directed sequence that cuts back and forth between the theater's bathrooms, the lobby, the audience and the movie they're watching. Loses some momentum in the last ten minutes, and the final scenes, while pretty scary, are still a little cheap. Still recommended for horror fans seeking a creative, suspenseful slasher with a twist.
*** 1/2 out of *****

A middle-aged momma's boy runs rampant in a movie theater cutting out patron's eyeballs, while the movie onscreen depicts the same man as an optometrist who is driven to his evil acts by his overbearing, overweight squeaky-voiced mother. (The film's movie-within-a-movie THE MOMMY).
An interesting idea is well played out even if the end result is rather awkward. There is one funny scene of one of the victim's slobbering before having his throat slit with a scalpel. Presumably it's just a matter of taste. All in all, ANGUISH isn't a bad movie, I just expected it to be a lot better.

This underrated horror flick from 1986 should be seen by any movie fan intrigued by the hypnotic nature of film. The movie within a movie theme is taken to an ad nauseum degree in a hallucinogenic rollercoaster of gore and killings. There's a mad killer tearing eyeballs out of people watching a movie ("The Lost World") in a movie theater which in turn is being watched by an audience watching that movie in a movie theater which in turn we are watching (unfortunately at home and not in a movie theater)--what a mind trip that would have been!...and it doesn't even end there! It's a unique thriller which takes a theme from "Demons", but increases it ten-fold. This is a stunning widescreen 2.35:1 transfer....the old P&S VHS release really destroyed the whole design of the film....you need the entire panavison frame to get the complete effect that this is a film about film. Bizarre, gory, hypnotic....but most of all clever....check this one out...and stay for the end credits!

this movie will take you back to when rock music came into being.. it takes me back to when i was in late elementary-early jr. high school listing to my little am radio that would sit in the palm of my hand. music like the EAGLES and STEELY DAN, are really timless. if you look in the background, notice all the posters of the then really poupular musicians.. its a real precious little time-capsul that will take you back to when music wasnt gothic,or grunge. give it a try, and reminice where you were in the 70's at that time.. to bad we cant go back to some of the concerts they show. the buffet concert would have been wild!

The film is a lot of fun, but the best thing is the music. Linda Ronstadt and Jimmy Buffett make concert appearances, and Tom Petty has a cameo. Also features music from Eagles, Steely Dan, Queen and others. If you miss AOR you'll appreciate 'FM'.

"FM" is a fun, light-weight, movie comedy for anyone who has an interest in radio or late '70s rock n'roll in general. The film has arguably been regarded by it's fans as the template or inspiration for the classic CBS TV sitcom, "WKRP in Cincinnati".This episodic movie takes place in late 1970's L.A. at the offices and studios of Q-Sky, the #1 radio station in the area. It's hilariously, presided over by manager, Jeff Dugan (a likable Michael Brandon),who's main job seems to be keeping in line, the crazy DJs and other personnel, who make up the station's looney, staff.These folks are constantly getting themselves into trouble both on and off the air. They include Mother (Eileen Brennan) a burned out hippie, who wants to chuck it all, Eric Swann (Martin Mull)a pompas idiot, who will do anything to further his career, The Prince (Cleavon Little), the hip black dude of the bunch and finally Doc (Alex Karras), a suicidal cowboy. The main plot centers on how Jeff and the gang fight to keep the evil account executive and the station owner from oversaturating the station's airwaves with wall to wall ads for the U.S. Army.Yes, the plotline is sort of silly and dated.But put on your average FM station today and you'll find that the movie's premise has pretty much come true.The air waves are mostly ads with a little bit of music squeezed in. Highlights of this film include excellent,live '70s era, in-concert appearances by music artists, Linda Ronstadt ("Tumbling Dice" "Poor Pitiful Me") and Jimmy Buffett ("Livingston Saturday Night"). If you are a fan of either of these performers then you will relish this concert footage. Also look for a brief cameo from rocker, Tom Petty.Finally listen for the film's great classic rock soundtrack which includes '70s staples such as Steely Dan, Bob Seger, Boston, Billy Joel, the Doobie Brothers and much more.For an evening of light-hearted comedy I highly recommend "FM".

This movie is not a masterpiece by a long shot, but it is a movie that encapsulates a golden era of music and radio that is long gone.

The overall story is about a fictitious radio station in Los Angeles facing a battle with the station owners over what advertising will be broadcast on the radio, namely the new advertising spots by the US Army that would help the station owners to increase profits.

Watching this film, it is interesting to see how insignificant the conflict with the corporate machine is in this movie than if the same movie were made in the modern day. The owners of the FM radio station in Los Angeles we are told, own 10 radio stations across the country. Today, it would not be uncommon for a communications corporate giant to own 10 radio stations in each city, thereby creating a monopoly and eliminating any dissent whatsoever. Disc jockeys running late to spin the records, and disc jockeys who couldn't get the tape machine to play their sponsors' advertisements without technical difficulties could easily be eliminated today with computer software automation. What little automation a radio station did not have could easily be eliminated if those who spun the records chose to go on strike, as did those at the end of this movie. The station's broadcasting location could easily be switched to another location by a simple click of a computer mouse, until the conflict was removed.

Corporate commentary aside, this movie is a great period piece to watch -- Disc Jockey's with larger than life egos, a radio station that likes to give the listeners what they want to hear, including free live concert broadcasts featuring Linda Ronstadt, and live broadcasts of disc jockeys from the local record store.

The DVD has the movie preview for this film, and at the end of it, is shown the FM soundtrack double album. I have heard this album, and it is one of the best soundtrack albums ever made for a movie -- where the film is average in quality, the music album is far superior to the film. This movie is not big on telling a story, but it is big on the music.

"FM" is a fun, light-weight, movie comedy for anyone who has an interest in radio or late '70s rock n'roll in general. The film has arguably been regarded by it's fans as the template or inspiration for the classic CBS TV sitcom, "WKRP in Cincinnati".This episodic movie takes place in late 1970's L.A. at the offices and studios of Q-Sky, the #1 radio station in the area. It's hilariously, presided over by manager, Jeff Dugan (a likable Michael Brandon),who's main job seems to be keeping in line, the crazy DJs and other personnel, who make up the station's looney, staff.These folks are constantly getting themselves into trouble both on and off the air. They include Mother (Eileen Brennan) a burned out hippie, who wants to chuck it all, Eric Swann (Martin Mull)a pompas idiot, who will do anything to further his career, The Prince (Cleavon Little), the hip black dude of the bunch and finally Doc (Alex Karras), a suicidal cowboy. The main plot centers on how Jeff and the gang fight to keep the evil account executive and the station owner from oversaturating the station's airwaves with wall to wall ads for the U.S. Army.Yes, the plotline is sort of silly and dated.But put on your average FM station today and you'll find that the movie's premise has pretty much come true.The air waves are mostly ads with a little bit of music squeezed in. Highlights of this film include excellent,live '70s era, in-concert appearances by music artists, Linda Ronstadt ("Tumbling Dice" "Poor Pitiful Me") and Jimmy Buffett ("Livingston Saturday Night"). If you are a fan of either of these performers then you will relish this concert footage. Also look for a brief cameo from rocker, Tom Petty.Finally listen for the film's great classic rock soundtrack which includes '70s staples such as Steely Dan, Bob Seger, Boston, Billy Joel, the Doobie Brothers and much more.For an evening of light-hearted comedy I highly recommend "FM".

Not technically slick by today's standards, this movie is buoyed by a superb soundtrack. The nostalgia value alone is worth two stars. It's fun to watch Martin Mull in his first role and who wouldn't love listening to Eileen Brennan as "Mother" spinning the best on wax through the speakers of your dad's Chevy Monza? Good movie also for those who had a disdain for the disco fad - and still do.

"The Reptile," the 1966 film directed by John Gilling, is set in the turn-of-the-century Cornish village of Clagmore Heath, where the superstitious villages are once again succumbing to an unknown malady after a wealthy stranger has moved into the local mansion. Even when a local man is attacked and his throat bitten, the village officials call in heart failure despite the fact the victim foams at the mouth and turns green. What makes this particular monster mystery interesting is that this time we are dealing with a female! Again, it is painfully obvious that is it is the reclusive Anna (Jacqueline Pearce in her most sensual role) who is the snake-woman in question. As the father who tries to protect her, Noel Willman provides one of the better and even complex roles in a Hammer film as it heads towards its inevitable tragic outcome. But the star of the show is Roy Ashton's makeup for the title creature, in what proved to be his final film for the studio. "The Reptile" makes an excellent double-bill with "The Plague of Zombies" since they are made by the same studio, same director, in the same setting, using the same sets, with obvious parallels to the stories as well.

Ray Barrett and wife Jennifer Daniels inherit his brother's Cornish cottage, after the brother's unusual demise by the mysterious "Black Death." The locals aren't too friendly, especially austere neighbor Noel Willman, a reclusive gentleman famous for writing about obscure religious cults around the world. Willman's lovely daughter, the inexplicably shy and subdued Jacqueline Pearce, is as friendly to Barrett and his wife as her father is hostile, and inadvertently engages them in what rapidly becomes an ugly murder plot - the same one that claimed Barrett's late brother.

This is one of Hammer's better low-budgeters, which suffers from a few flaws: it's slow moving and a bit padded; the music (as in many films from the same studio in the same period) is overly melodramatic; and the suspense is half-shot from the opening teaser, by explicitly showing precisely the mystery Barrett and Daniels are attempting to solve (though not quite all of its details). It plays like a turn-of-the-century supernatural murder mystery, which is essentially what it is.

However, it's splendidly acted by all involved, especially Willman and Pearce, who suffer from a guilty secret and a resultant family curse beyond their ability to explain to outsiders. The sets and props are gorgeous, the scenery beautiful, the atmosphere heavy. Pearce's makeup is magnificent, even if the papier-mache shows - it's a truly striking effect, and properly underused. There are some very creepy and highly memorable scenes, most notably the finale and one in which Pearce - in a genuinely unspeakable condition - writhes around on her bed while an insidious Malaysian manservant chants over her body.

Anyone enjoying this film should also check out Plague of the Zombies, made by the same production team and many of the same cast members.

Very good Hammer horror film about a wealthy man who keeps his beautiful daughter locked away from other people. He also has a sinister Indian servant who seems to have a strange hold over him as well. A young couple rents a cottage near the estate and discover the countryside is plagued with weird murders that leave the victims disfigured and foaming at the mouth. It turns out the girl is under a bizarre Indian curse incurred by the father on a visit to India that causes her to turn into a hideous reptile creature. The cellar of the estate has been converted into a "natural habitat" environment replete with steaming sulphur springs so that the snake-woman can writhe and shed her skin. The servant is there to keep the curse active. Very creepy outing with Jacqueline Pierce memorable as the unfortunate snake-girl. Good cast also includes Jennifer Daniel ("Kiss of the Vampire") as the wife-half of the neighboring couple who attempts to befriend Pierce. Most watchable and a good companion piece to "Plague of the Zombies" for collectors.

If you are expecting anything of substance here, you will be disappointed. But I give this film five stars for audacity and total disregard for reality. After seeing this one will agree that Alaska is a magical place where black bears turn into grizzly bears; where one can travel thousands of miles in just a cutaway shot; where people just sit around with paragliding equipment in their trucks ready to hand out to to anyone with no instruction. The hodge-podge of footage and the slap-dash writing is richly complemented by the innane acting. Carmen Electra's "Fire and Ice Dance" performed in front of a glacier face had me hoping for a catastrophic calving. Makes me grateful that I don't have television service.

There came a time in my life, not too long ago, when I realized I had zero acting talent and sucking in my gut every time I was topless just wasn't cutting it anymore. Now if only David Hasselhoff had done the same...

I love the video and thought it was great that the show went on location in Alaska. I have the unrated version of the video. But I hope someday to get the rated version of the video. I think that David Hasselhoff and Gena Lee Nolin did a terrfic job on the video when their characters "Mitch and Neely Buchannon" got married on the Dawn Princess cruise and the honeymoon scene was so beautiful.

If you are expecting anything of substance here, you will be disappointed. But I give this film five stars for audacity and total disregard for reality. After seeing this one will agree that Alaska is a magical place where black bears turn into grizzly bears; where one can travel thousands of miles in just a cutaway shot; where people just sit around with paragliding equipment in their trucks ready to hand out to to anyone with no instruction. The hodge-podge of footage and the slap-dash writing is richly complemented by the innane acting. Carmen Electra's "Fire and Ice Dance" performed in front of a glacier face had me hoping for a catastrophic calving. Makes me grateful that I don't have television service.

There came a time in my life, not too long ago, when I realized I had zero acting talent and sucking in my gut every time I was topless just wasn't cutting it anymore. Now if only David Hasselhoff had done the same...

I love the video and thought it was great that the show went on location in Alaska. I have the unrated version of the video. But I hope someday to get the rated version of the video. I think that David Hasselhoff and Gena Lee Nolin did a terrfic job on the video when their characters "Mitch and Neely Buchannon" got married on the Dawn Princess cruise and the honeymoon scene was so beautiful.

This movie is very well put together, with many facts and so forth...yet the one negative is the assassination scene. It is NOTHING like the REAL assassination poor ole' Grigory Rasputin had to face...in this movie...he's just poisened and thrown out a window...THE END. In real life, much more had to take place to take down the "Saint Who Sinned".

I rented this movie because I have recently become a big fan of British horror film actor Christopher Lee. Lee is the saving grace of this film.

The brutal and hypnotic monk Rasputin(Christopher Lee) is expelled from his monastery and temporarily gains great power by manipulating his way into the royal family of Russia.

This movie is a disappointment. "Rasputin and the Empress" could have been a thrilling period piece about Grigori Rasputin and his impact on Russian history. Unfortunately, this film pays little attention to history and doesn't become much more than a mediocre Hammer horror film masquerading as a historical period piece. Christopher Lee saves this movie. "Rasputin and the Empress" offered Lee one of his better roles. He is forceful and frightening as this ruthless historical figure. Richard Pasco and particularly Barbara Shelley give fine supporting performances.

Lee's peformance makes "Rasputin and the Empress" a must-see for all horror fans.

An attractive film by Hammer and a wonderfully powerful performance by Christopher Lee. Lee, an actor who always appears to put his "all" into his characters, doubly delights fans in this version of the Rasputin story. Rasputin is portrayed as an evil, manipulative, slick opportunist who delights in an over abundance of booze (just call him old pickle head!), sex (he can't have just one), and generally irresponsible behavior. He is deliciously amoral and "pig-like." It is a bit odd that everyone in this part of the world sports a British dialect, but no matter -- it's fun!

I do believe this demonstrates the great range of Christopher Lee -- an actor who has never been given ample credit for his tremendous acting talent and distinguished demeanor. A must see for all fans of Christopher Lee and the Hammer films.

It's no wonder that neither Tamar Hoffs who wrote, directed and produced this junk NOR her daughter Susanna Hoffs ever made another film again. Sue is now married to film director Jay Roach (Meet the Parents, Austin Powers) and wisely, unlike Madonna, isn't letting her hubbie direct her in anything else. Why? Because the girl can't act to save her life and she knows it. Sue is a great video poser (like Madonna) but is she ever wooden -- even in a silly, no-serious - acting-required romp like this. This film isn't even for Bangles fans since the other three Bangles themselves wanted nothing to do with it and even Vicki Peterson wondered how this atrocity was "even being made." But it does goes to show what happens when you get a hit record. For some reason pop stars believe that hitting the Top Ten automatically qualifies them for starring roles in films. In this case Sue's mom wanted to be the Orson Welles of her generation. Only because she had a famous daughter and a forgettable short flick to her name did she get the chance to do it.You would think the film had a better soundtrack, being that Sue and bandmates did make some good music. But this ultra lame film lacks plot, wit and purpose. It's not even unintentionally funny, it's just stupefyingly dumb! "Molly's" valedictory speech is moronic (and she was first in her class!). But then again, she would be #1 at "Pacifica College" where teachers "recreate Woodstock" as part of the curriculum. Any brains, out there? And how do 3 penniless college students afford such a gorgeous beachfront house as their pad?There's no irony here, except for Joan Cusak's character Gina, who displays some occasional caustic wit and seems to be very aware of the idiots she's surrounded with. But this flick is too long, too boring and one wonders if these 5 brainless twits will ever make it in the real world.And this mess certainly didn't help Sue's standing in the Bangles who at the time were trying hard to fight the "sex kitten" image the record company wanted them to have. This film also brought even more media attention to Sue - something the band resented. Looking at yourself in the mirror with close-ups of your panties, while moving to and fro to Aretha's "Respect" (talk about irony!) was hardly going to help the Bangles to be taken as a serious female musicians.

The Allnighter is a cheesy, weak-plotted typical teen/20's film about 3 girls having lots of fun before graduation. The movie, however, is not very fun and I found it somewhat boring. However, Susanna Hoffs makes the movie! If you like Sue as much as I, then you will like this movie. What really makes the DVD version great is the commentary with Susanna and her mother, Tamar Simon Hoffs, who directed the movie. The commentary is worth the buy alone. Now as for Shakesphere's Sister above, I have had no problems with my DVD version and I have a cheapie player. Then again, some DVD's just don't work well with certain players. Overall, if you like Sue and like to get to know about her and her mother (the commentary) buy this DVD.

It's a great movie, great actors, now we have seen them become legends, and Susanna Hoffs, a voice, a Star, in a time that fasion and music were everything, if you ever read this Sue... I just want to tell you, I'm proud of you!!!! keep on rocking!!!

It's no wonder that neither Tamar Hoffs who wrote, directed and produced this junk NOR her daughter Susanna Hoffs ever made another film again. Sue is now married to film director Jay Roach (Meet the Parents, Austin Powers) and wisely, unlike Madonna, isn't letting her hubbie direct her in anything else. Why? Because the girl can't act to save her life and she knows it. Sue is a great video poser (like Madonna) but is she ever wooden -- even in a silly, no-serious - acting-required romp like this. This film isn't even for Bangles fans since the other three Bangles themselves wanted nothing to do with it and even Vicki Peterson wondered how this atrocity was "even being made." But it does goes to show what happens when you get a hit record. For some reason pop stars believe that hitting the Top Ten automatically qualifies them for starring roles in films. In this case Sue's mom wanted to be the Orson Welles of her generation. Only because she had a famous daughter and a forgettable short flick to her name did she get the chance to do it.You would think the film had a better soundtrack, being that Sue and bandmates did make some good music. But this ultra lame film lacks plot, wit and purpose. It's not even unintentionally funny, it's just stupefyingly dumb! "Molly's" valedictory speech is moronic (and she was first in her class!). But then again, she would be #1 at "Pacifica College" where teachers "recreate Woodstock" as part of the curriculum. Any brains, out there? And how do 3 penniless college students afford such a gorgeous beachfront house as their pad?There's no irony here, except for Joan Cusak's character Gina, who displays some occasional caustic wit and seems to be very aware of the idiots she's surrounded with. But this flick is too long, too boring and one wonders if these 5 brainless twits will ever make it in the real world.And this mess certainly didn't help Sue's standing in the Bangles who at the time were trying hard to fight the "sex kitten" image the record company wanted them to have. This film also brought even more media attention to Sue - something the band resented. Looking at yourself in the mirror with close-ups of your panties, while moving to and fro to Aretha's "Respect" (talk about irony!) was hardly going to help the Bangles to be taken as a serious female musicians.

The Allnighter is a cheesy, weak-plotted typical teen/20's film about 3 girls having lots of fun before graduation. The movie, however, is not very fun and I found it somewhat boring. However, Susanna Hoffs makes the movie! If you like Sue as much as I, then you will like this movie. What really makes the DVD version great is the commentary with Susanna and her mother, Tamar Simon Hoffs, who directed the movie. The commentary is worth the buy alone. Now as for Shakesphere's Sister above, I have had no problems with my DVD version and I have a cheapie player. Then again, some DVD's just don't work well with certain players. Overall, if you like Sue and like to get to know about her and her mother (the commentary) buy this DVD.

It's a great movie, great actors, now we have seen them become legends, and Susanna Hoffs, a voice, a Star, in a time that fasion and music were everything, if you ever read this Sue... I just want to tell you, I'm proud of you!!!! keep on rocking!!!