Michael-Douglas Movie Reviews
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thriller genre at its best
the best thriller ever
A definate must-seeI saw it again late late last night (about 11:15) and it hasn't changed, thank God. A "must-see".
-Joshua Underwood, 15
July 19, 2002


Wilder & Company's Hysterical Homage to Sherlock Holmes
Classic Gene Wilder
Excellent screwball comedy

Not as Great as You Think it Would Be...
A Beautiful Movie
Very Good Rendition of the Sir Walter Scott Classic Tale!

Not Quite Du Maurier . . .But, GoodI will not critique Du Maurier's story--it is a great Gothic masterpiece which employs tone, description, plot and characterization to near perfection---read the book to enjoy Du Maurier's talent and imagination at its best.
This adaptation follows the novel much more closely than Hitchcock's earlier film. However, some twists were added to further dramatize an already tumultuous story. I must wonder why this was necessary and can only think, sadly, that the original story was thought too tame in the light of our 20th/21st century viewpoints of violence. In this version, Mary's parents are victims to the sinister plot that wraps Jamaica Inn in secret, making Mary's involvement all the more desperate and poignant. If one has read the book before viewing the film, this addition seems overdone, detracting from the original and eliminating the self-righteously ethical factor so important to Mary's character. In order to emphasize the romance in the plot, Mary's relationship with the landlord's brother tallys up more screen time when compared percentage-wise with the novel's presentation of the same interplay---there are actually more scenes in the book where the characters are together, yet the book allows you to speculate as it plays the romance off the tale of suspense and the film does not. Patrick McGoohan plays Joss with a little too much gruffness--we never really see the vulnerability and helplessness which lie beneath the surface and appear after he has soaked himself in rum. There are never any scenes with both Jem and Joss together---the necessary comparison made between the brothers is not allowed and hence, we do not quite see Mary's dilemma in her attraction to Jem or what might have attracted her Aunt in the past. Aunt Patience, played by Billy Whitelaw, would have been perfect as the once beautiful woman worn down by the knowledge of her husband's misdeeds. However,through her stern cautionary conversations with Mary, she appears too logically complacent, more a fully functioning partner to Joss rather than the frightened remains of the silly woman whose head was turned by him in the first place. Jane Seymour's portrayal of Mary includes the bit of pep that DuMaurier states but never fully demonstrates, yet she tends to be too saucy at times, playing the active willing foil to Jem's criminal antics rather than the shocked observer from the pages of the novel.
The film is most definitely capitalizing on Du Maurier's so-called reputation for escapist romance; yet the book is not a romance at all, but rather Du Maurier's grim testament to the status of women as dependent creatures, shoved here and there by their stronger male counterparts. Mary doesn't necessarily find love nor does love conquer adversity as we are meant to conclude from this presentation. There is no moral lesson scorching Du Maurier's pages. Du Maurier's vision was much more dismal---Mary, finally beaten,accepts her fate and plays second fiddle to Jem's maleness; she learns to acquiesce to her dependency. Despite these fundemental differences, the film as a romantic interlude, is still good; it fully depicts Du Maurier's Cornwall seeped in its weather and crowned by monoliths. The film's music tends to be a little melodramatic--it is of the Camille Claudel genre--I think an insiduous pan pipe along the Braveheart vein would have been a better contrast with the rain, gloom and terror than 'Transfigured Night' which doles out more of the same.
Jane Seymour turns in a stunning performance
Riveting Performances

Not Quite Du Maurier . . .But, GoodI will not critique Du Maurier's story--it is a great Gothic masterpiece which employs tone, description, plot and characterization to near perfection---read the book to enjoy Du Maurier's talent and imagination at its best.
This adaptation follows the novel much more closely than Hitchcock's earlier film. However, some twists were added to further dramatize an already tumultuous story. I must wonder why this was necessary and can only think, sadly, that the original story was thought too tame in the light of our 20th/21st century viewpoints of violence. In this version, Mary's parents are victims to the sinister plot that wraps Jamaica Inn in secret, making Mary's involvement all the more desperate and poignant. If one has read the book before viewing the film, this addition seems overdone, detracting from the original and eliminating the self-righteously ethical factor so important to Mary's character. In order to emphasize the romance in the plot, Mary's relationship with the landlord's brother tallys up more screen time when compared percentage-wise with the novel's presentation of the same interplay---there are actually more scenes in the book where the characters are together, yet the book allows you to speculate as it plays the romance off the tale of suspense and the film does not. Patrick McGoohan plays Joss with a little too much gruffness--we never really see the vulnerability and helplessness which lie beneath the surface and appear after he has soaked himself in rum. There are never any scenes with both Jem and Joss together---the necessary comparison made between the brothers is not allowed and hence, we do not quite see Mary's dilemma in her attraction to Jem or what might have attracted her Aunt in the past. Aunt Patience, played by Billy Whitelaw, would have been perfect as the once beautiful woman worn down by the knowledge of her husband's misdeeds. However,through her stern cautionary conversations with Mary, she appears too logically complacent, more a fully functioning partner to Joss rather than the frightened remains of the silly woman whose head was turned by him in the first place. Jane Seymour's portrayal of Mary includes the bit of pep that DuMaurier states but never fully demonstrates, yet she tends to be too saucy at times, playing the active willing foil to Jem's criminal antics rather than the shocked observer from the pages of the novel.
The film is most definitely capitalizing on Du Maurier's so-called reputation for escapist romance; yet the book is not a romance at all, but rather Du Maurier's grim testament to the status of women as dependent creatures, shoved here and there by their stronger male counterparts. Mary doesn't necessarily find love nor does love conquer adversity as we are meant to conclude from this presentation. There is no moral lesson scorching Du Maurier's pages. Du Maurier's vision was much more dismal---Mary, finally beaten,accepts her fate and plays second fiddle to Jem's maleness; she learns to acquiesce to her dependency. Despite these fundemental differences, the film as a romantic interlude, is still good; it fully depicts Du Maurier's Cornwall seeped in its weather and crowned by monoliths. The film's music tends to be a little melodramatic--it is of the Camille Claudel genre--I think an insiduous pan pipe along the Braveheart vein would have been a better contrast with the rain, gloom and terror than 'Transfigured Night' which doles out more of the same.
Jane Seymour turns in a stunning performance
Riveting Performances

Senuous version of Wilde's exotic playWithin this concept, Russell has each actor, except Wilde, play two parts in the film, one in the brothel, one in the play. Most remarkable of these is Imogen Millais-Scott who, the first time we see her, is a very timid, slightly stuttering maid, but who, in the play within the play, is none other than the seductive princess Salome. Besides having an intriguing face that can look thirteen one minute and sixty the next, she has a melodious, slightly odd speaking voice and intense line delivery.
Nicholas Grace is the sensuous, slightly debauched Oscar Wilde, Glenda Jackson commands the stage as a dissipated, but regal queen Herodias/Lady Alice, and Stratford Johns gives a detailed characterization as Herod/Alfred Taylor (the owner of the brothel). Russell himself appears with a fairly sizeable spoken role.
There are only two extra features on this DVD: the inevitable trailers (not particularly interesting) and a commentary by the director Ken Russell which is both fascinating and enlightening. Mr. Russell readily describes his creative process, explains some of the choices he made in the film, and relates a few interesting anecdotes about the actors, all the while dropping bits of information about the music he chose for the film and why.
This is not an appropriate film for children. It contains nudity, some crude gestures, and sexual situations.
Theatre majors take head or . . . Salome. Dance for me !!!! To say the least this is an excellent version of Oscar Wilde's Salome. If you want to understand Wilde and his plays, you should pick this film up. Not many people realize but Wilde and his friends would write plays and then act them out for fun. So when you see this movie you are getting a pretty good view of what a Friday night was for Wilde and his friends.
I mean to say, wouldn't it be fun to write a porn and have your friends act it out with you as the star? That was what Wilde did, that was why he was so controversial.
But like I said, if you are a theatre major or even a fan of literature and history. Watch this film and be amazed.
Unique Vortex of Oddity!

Funny beyond beliefSome highlights of the film that make it hilarious:
* Our killer (you never see his face, just heavy breathing, gloves, and galoshes) is looking over weapons and picks the deadliest one of them all...an unfolded paperclip!! * The ongoing "body count" that flashes on the screen everytime someone dies! * Our killer talking to the teacher: Teacher (on phone): "Why does your voice sound funny? Killer: "Because I'm disguising it, schmuck!" "How?" "I'm talking through a rubber chicken." "It sounded like you're talking through a rubber chicken." "'Click!'" "Did you just hang up?" "No, I just said 'click.'" * One of my favorite quotes as the principal "confesses": "All these years I've been naked underneath these clothes." * The killer as he chases a girl: "Why do they always run? Maybe it's the galoshes! They're a dead giveaway! Why do I wear them? It's not even raining!" *You have to love a movie that uses an eggplant for a murder weapon.
Okay, so the humor is bad and dated...but in the right mood with a lot of friends, it's downright funny.
I'm amazed that it's still in print. Enjoy.
I think someone stole my keys, and my cheese.This movie is a kind of horror spoof, but not nearly as trite as those that would follow in its wake. I didn't really like the whole "breather" thing; I thought that part was overdone and stupid. There is some raunchy humor involved, which is to me about as funny as Micheal Bolton, but that doesn't matter, because the subtle things are what makes the movie. Anyway, you have this high school, and someone is going around killing all of the teenagers while in the middle of fornication. One chick gets paper-clipped to death, for example. The screen promptly flashes a body count number as each victim bites the bullet. They also give you plenty of suspects, like the principal or the janitor or the shop teacher with the horsehead bookends. There's that chick, Toby; she's supposed to be mousy and unattractive, but, guys, I don't think so. (But it was funny when the breather described her as looking like Prince Valiant in a plum sweater.) Anyway, she manages to be within the area every time a murder takes place, so of course everyone assumes that she's the killer.
Gradually, the movie starts a downward spiral into chaotic, nightmarish scenes, bending reality beyond the confines of the spoof. Toby gets dressed up in a leather outfit, puts balloons into her blouse to increase her bustline, throws on a blonde wig, and decides to investigate in disguise. Two of my favorite lines:
Toby: "Principal Peters, you're naked!"
Principal: "That's right, Toby, for years I've been naked underneath my clothes."
Heh heh heh. Eventually, Toby finds herself being chased down the hall by the laughing, chalk-faced zombies of her fellow students, and by the principal, the janitor, and horsehead bookends. She crashes through a window, and then awakens in a hospital bed. The swine flu (cause by sexual repression) gave her the king crawling whopper of all nightmares. But it's not over yet. Oddly, despite the rest of the movie, it ends on a decidely horror-movie note. Kinda strange and uneven. But, it's fun to watch, and that's really all that matters, well, that and some fine chicks. And unlike many of the other movies I've reviewed, this one is funny on purpose.
Probably the stupidest movie ever made!Laserdisc version reviewed.


Not Funny StupidThe Story sounds rather interesting, but in reality it isn't exactly elaborated enough. The Story is about a little girl called Donna who is a recently orphaned rich heiress, who has to decide which of her seven uncles to live with. So she is suppoesd to spend 2 weeks with each one, but actually most of the time you only get to see one scene with one uncle. There is really not much elaboration on the uncles, just one little scene. And ALL of them are played by Jerry Lewis.
What Torture, no this movie isn't funny it is just plain dumb. Don't get it! If you want something funny get an 'I love Lucy' or some other comedy. Cause this is not real comedy
Delicious!
7 times the Jerry = 7 times the laughs!

Phil Hartman is a Standout.... as is most of the cast.
Outstanding comedic acheivement!
ENJOYED TO THE HILT!

Bizarre, lurid, voyeuristic psychodrama (and campy, too)Anyway, I was intrigued by a conversation he had with a caller on this film. They were talking about what a wild psychological drama it was, and that (at the time) there was basically no way to see the film in its original state. The film had not been released on video yet, and the TV print had been notoriously butchered to make it more "acceptable" for TV. The network (ABC?) even went so far as to shoot additional footage with psychiatrists explaining the sordid details of the story (a la "Psycho", perhaps). Well, I finally tracked it down. So after all these years, the wonder is over...
I can only imagine what I would have made of this film as a naive teenager. Even now I find myself creeped out by the horrible secrets of Mia's character, and by the painful emptiness of the soul of Liz's (this film would be considered bold even today; it's not tame by any standards). Mia's character seems a bit over the top, but I do believe there are people like that in the world. Her past traumas seemed to have led her to have a total lack of physical boundaries with people. As for Liz, she was moving at times, rather unpleasant at times (like in the all-too-real breakfast scene), and practically another character in others (like the fake British accent she adopts on occasion).
There is certainly an element of camp in this film. It doesn't dominate the film, so I wouldn't call it camp. But some of the dialog and sets are not to be believed. Liz croaks out some pretty bad lines, with my favorite being "that's too drab for a spring day--that should be worn on a day when it rains like p*ss!". Robert Mitchum, thoroughly repulsive as Mia's stepfather, gets some of the best (worst) lines, like his line to an overweight Liz, "I'm very fond of cows. Moooooo!".
I don't want to give away the plot, because the film is worth the time just to watch the story unravel and to enjoy the creepy atmosphere (full of baroque-y music, Mia's bizarre mansion, and constant dread). If you put the lapses into camp aside, you'll find it's not a bad psychological drama. You won't regret spending the time to check this unique film out.
Fascinating teaming of Elizabeth Taylor and Mia Farrow"Secret Ceremony" is set in London and tells the strange story of an wealthy but abandoned young girl Cenci (Farrow) who one day on a bus sees a woman who resembles her dead mother. Cenci in her disturbed mind feels it is her mother and "adapts" the middle aged prostitute Leonora as a replacement mother and takes her back to her strange home to play at being her daughter. Leonora has recently suffered through the lose of her own young daughter and sensing the girl's loneliness and her own unstable situation decides to play along with it and becomes actually attached to the girl in the process. Things become more complicated with the arrival first of Cenci's grasping aunts Hannah and Hilda (played by veteran actresses Peggy Ashcroft and Pamela Brown) who regularly come to the house to harrass Cenci and steal valuable items to resell in their run down antique shop, and secondly by the appearance of Cenci's unwelcome step father Albert (played by Robert Mitcham). As pyschological dramas go this is a winner and hints at many things in its story line such as lesbianism, child abuse and mother complexes. It certainly is not for all tastes which probably explains why rather sadly the film was not a success when released in 1968. What it does boast though are some excellent acting performances with great work from Elizabeth Taylor and Mia Farrow in particular. They have a wonderful screen chemistry together and indeed despite being savaged by the critics at the time I feel Robert Mitcham in his small role portraying a highly unlikeable character delivers great work and his confrontation scenes with Elizabeth have a real electricity about them.
Directed with flair by the famed Joseph losey, he enhanced the eerie atmosphere of this story with one of the great house sets that have ever been used in such a drama. Located in a leafy London suburb it is quite bizzare in its interior decoration and design and fits perfectly into the story. All Byzantine arches and coloured tiles and filled with macarbe dolls and music boxes it is both majestic and overdone which fits in perfectly with the bizzare storyline. Joseph Losey in all his productions always placed great emphasis on the settings of his stories to build the correct atmosphere and here he has excelled. It is hard to really fathom what time this story is set in so detached it seems to be from any sort of outside reality. Even the scenes shot at the beach resort in the off-season period have a strange almost funeral quality to them with misty seascapes and a general lack of people present.
Certainly like alot of Joseph Losey productions "Secret Ceremony" is an acquired taste. I can appreciate the fine acting by the leads and the strange offbeat story has alot to hold your interest. If you are interested in a compelling Elizabeth Taylor film from after her main period of Box Office stardom then "Secret Ceremony" is highly recommended.
certainly a well-kept secret....