Michael-J.-Fox Movie Reviews


Related Subjects: VHS Movie Review Michael-Jai-White Michael-Jeter Michael-Keaton Michael-Lehmann Michael-Lerner Michael-Lonsdale Michael-Madsen Michael-Mann Michael-McKean Michael-Moriarty Michael-O'Keefe Michael-Palin Michael-Rapaport Michael-Rispoli Michael-Rooker Michael-Wincott Michael-Winterbottom Michelle-Pfeiffer Michelle-Rodriguez
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VHS movie reviews for "Michael-J.-Fox" sorted by average review score:

Visiting Hours
Released in VHS Tape by Twentieth Century Fox (01 November, 1982)
MPAA Rating: R (Restricted)
Director: Jean-Claude Lord
Starring: Michael Ironside and Lee Grant
Average review score:

tepid revenge flick
If you crossed "Halloween II" with "I Spit on Your Grave" and subtracted the sex & nudity of the latter, you'd get "Visiting Hours," a would-be horror movie that pits an outspoken TV personality (Lee Grant, in an awful performance) against a hulking, muscular freak who has a personal vendetta against her (although it's not made clear exactly WHAT that vendetta is). He attacks her in her home once, and when she's transferred to a hospital, there's even more chances for his deadly intent. Unfortunately, this is less a horror film and more a portrait of Humans Behaving Badly, with Michael Ironside doing a good job of being imposing and threating, but also unrelentingly unpleasant as a result. Jean-Claude Lord's direction sucks the suspense out of scenes, and in the end, "Visiting Hours" is just one big 'kill-or-be-killed' festival with the typical undercurrents of misogyny. Avoid it.

"Visiting Hours" misses more than hits
A brutal, anti-woman lunkhead (Michael Ironside) begins to stalk television journalist (Lee Grant) after she delivers an over the edge editorial on women's rights. He attacks her in her home, where she is wounded but escapes. He soon follows her to the hospital, where he waits for his second chance. Some unpleasant scenes, such as when he cuts the hose on an elderly woman's respirator and we watch her face contort in horror as she suffocates. Another charmer is when he stabs a nurse with a kitchen knife and then photographs her as she lies moaning in pain on the floor. He even kicks her legs for effect. Okay, I'll stop before I get on a roll. Lee Grant gives an awful performance, and she's an annoying crier to boot. William Shatner is wasted in a small supporting role. Watchable, but not much going here.

visiting hours
.i love horror shows,and this one is the most terrorfing one i ever did see, it keeps you on the edge of your seat .knowing that at any moment some one will be making you jump right out of your skin.


Too Young to Die?
Released in VHS Tape by Artisan (Fox Video) (15 September, 1997)
MPAA Rating: R (Restricted)
Director: Robert Markowitz
Average review score:

say it aint so brad!!!
this is pitts worst performance to date. thats all i have to say about that

Not a bad movie
I enjoyed watching this movie....it was one of Brad and Juliette's first movies!! Worth a try!

A great film which should be seen all round
I thought that this film was a wake up call to older people to what is actually happening to young girls around the country, its real life and its happening. it also could help the people that this sort of treatment is happening to,and they are not the only ones suffering. i thought this film was really good. it made me cry.


Bright Lights Big City
Released in VHS Tape by Mgm/Ua Studios (28 December, 1996)
MPAA Rating: R (Restricted)
Director: James Bridges
Starring: Michael J. Fox and Kiefer Sutherland
Michael J. Fox plays the most sympathetic cocaine addict you've ever seen in the movie of Jay McInerney's popular novel Bright Lights, Big City, the book that famously chronicled the coke- and cash-fueled era of the 1980s. Jamie Conway (Fox) works as a fact-checker for a major New York magazine, but because he spends his nights partying with his glib best friend (Kiefer Sutherland), he's on the verge of getting fired. His wife, a fast-rising model (Phoebe Cates), just left him; he's still reeling from the death of his mother (Dianne Wiest) a year earlier; and he's obsessed with a tabloid story about a pregnant woman in a coma. Bright Lights, Big City doesn't have much of a plot, but in its meandering way it captures some of the glossy chaos of the time and of a man desperately trying to escape the pain in his life. --Bret Fetzer
Average review score:

I agree - No Widescreen :(
Great movie. I had it on VHS but wanted it for DVD. But, sadly, it was not released in Widescreen, and not having that option kind of bothers me about DVD releases.

Given all that, since I got the disk for free (at Best Buy they offered a free DVD from a small set if you bought The Sure Thing and Valley Girl together), I can live with this format (for now). Maybe they'll do a special edition some day (though I doubt it as it wasn't a high profile film). Sigh.

Consistent
This movie was very consistent with the book which, if you liked the book, which made this a good movie.

Having read the book before seeing the moving gave me a bit more insight into the story. But even without reading the book first, viewers may watch in disbelief, wondering how long will it take for Michael J. Fox's character to kill himself or change his ways. Suffering through this drives home the ending of the film, and makes this the moving story that it is!

A well done film with a strong cast! The soundtrack isn't bad either...

His best performance since Marty McFly!
Up until today, I didn't even know this movie existed. I went to the store looking at the great DVD deals and MGM had this great deal going buy one of their flicks get another one free, so I picked this and The Fog Special Edition as my choices (I got two others, but that's not important). What first attracted me was the fact that Michael J. Fox, Kiefer Sutherland and Phoebe Cates were all in the same movie. That is quite a package in and of itself. I am a big big fan of Fox, and a new fan of Kiefer Sutherland after "Phone Booth" and "24". Phoebe Cates, well you can understand why if you saw Fast Times at Ridgemont High.

Anyway, the whole reason why I gave the movie only four stars is because I don't like seeing drug content in movies, and the drug content was a major role in the movie, and seeing Marty McFly doing cocaine is not something I'm used to seeing in a movie. But other than that small, yet big in my eyes, complaint here is my overall opinion of the movie:

All three actors do a great job (not as good a job for Phoebe because she wasn't in the movie as much as I hoped, and her character was heartless) This movie is worth the ten dollars that I paid and is worth however much [the website] or anyone else sells it.

Overall grade: 9.5/10


Bright Lights, Big City
Released in VHS Tape by Mgm/Ua Studios (30 December, 1996)
MPAA Rating: R (Restricted)
Director: James Bridges
Starring: Michael J. Fox and Kiefer Sutherland
Michael J. Fox plays the most sympathetic cocaine addict you've ever seen in the movie of Jay McInerney's popular novel Bright Lights, Big City, the book that famously chronicled the coke- and cash-fueled era of the 1980s. Jamie Conway (Fox) works as a fact-checker for a major New York magazine, but because he spends his nights partying with his glib best friend (Kiefer Sutherland), he's on the verge of getting fired. His wife, a fast-rising model (Phoebe Cates), just left him; he's still reeling from the death of his mother (Dianne Wiest) a year earlier; and he's obsessed with a tabloid story about a pregnant woman in a coma. Bright Lights, Big City doesn't have much of a plot, but in its meandering way it captures some of the glossy chaos of the time and of a man desperately trying to escape the pain in his life. --Bret Fetzer
Average review score:

I agree - No Widescreen :(
Great movie. I had it on VHS but wanted it for DVD. But, sadly, it was not released in Widescreen, and not having that option kind of bothers me about DVD releases.

Given all that, since I got the disk for free (at Best Buy they offered a free DVD from a small set if you bought The Sure Thing and Valley Girl together), I can live with this format (for now). Maybe they'll do a special edition some day (though I doubt it as it wasn't a high profile film). Sigh.

Consistent
This movie was very consistent with the book which, if you liked the book, which made this a good movie.

Having read the book before seeing the moving gave me a bit more insight into the story. But even without reading the book first, viewers may watch in disbelief, wondering how long will it take for Michael J. Fox's character to kill himself or change his ways. Suffering through this drives home the ending of the film, and makes this the moving story that it is!

A well done film with a strong cast! The soundtrack isn't bad either...

His best performance since Marty McFly!
Up until today, I didn't even know this movie existed. I went to the store looking at the great DVD deals and MGM had this great deal going buy one of their flicks get another one free, so I picked this and The Fog Special Edition as my choices (I got two others, but that's not important). What first attracted me was the fact that Michael J. Fox, Kiefer Sutherland and Phoebe Cates were all in the same movie. That is quite a package in and of itself. I am a big big fan of Fox, and a new fan of Kiefer Sutherland after "Phone Booth" and "24". Phoebe Cates, well you can understand why if you saw Fast Times at Ridgemont High.

Anyway, the whole reason why I gave the movie only four stars is because I don't like seeing drug content in movies, and the drug content was a major role in the movie, and seeing Marty McFly doing cocaine is not something I'm used to seeing in a movie. But other than that small, yet big in my eyes, complaint here is my overall opinion of the movie:

All three actors do a great job (not as good a job for Phoebe because she wasn't in the movie as much as I hoped, and her character was heartless) This movie is worth the ten dollars that I paid and is worth however much [the website] or anyone else sells it.

Overall grade: 9.5/10


The Substitute - Failure Is Not an Option
Released in VHS Tape by Artisan (Fox Video) (23 October, 2001)
MPAA Rating: R (Restricted)
Director: Robert Radler
Average review score:

Substitute 4...Need I Say More?
Well, here comes the forth and hopfully last in the Substitute series. They should have only made one. This show is not worthy of sequels. I guess that Artisan thought that they could profit off of this series. Don't get me wrong, Treat Williams is a great actor, it's just too bad that he always lands in the straight to video movies. (Everwood may take up a lot of his time now so he won't have to make these types of movies). Angie Everhart's acting is not superb but decent. As for the others, judge that for yourself. The only thing that caught my interest in this movie was the scene between Teague Ted and the girl. The guy who plays Teague Ted is so hot. Being a teen boy having the girl in this movie was nice to see too.

Watchable, but not the best installment of the series
While it's not a bad movie, The Substitute 4 is the worst of the 4 Substitute movies. One of the main reasons is the film quality. The first 3 movies seemed to have better "look" to them and seemed like they could have been shown in a theater. This one looks more like a straight to video release. Some parts of the movie are slow, but it still has enough action to keep you interested.

Treat Williams is good as usual. Angie Everhart is OK - but I don't know why she was there, and some of the bad guys are pretty bad actors. The fight scenes are ok - even if they are a little predictable. A "special effect" explosion at a dam is pretty funny looking. There's some decent nudity, the classroom fight scene is funny, and a kid falling on some spike at the dam was cool too. The final battle with the bad guy was cheesy - and like the other reviewer said - why would a racist have a asian henchman?! The twist with Everhart is a little unexplainable as well.

Not too bad (as far as sequels go)
As a big fan of The Substitute series (which explains the four stars), I didn't think it was that bad. Treat Williams gives his third performance as Karl Thomasson, and in this film he goes undercover(as usual) in a military academy to infiltrate a Neo-Nazi group. Lots of action, hand-to-hand combat (only to be expected from the Sub), and Angie Everhart provides some pleasing eye candy. If you're not too big on The Sub, this might not be the movie for you. If you are, it ain't that bad.


The Substitute - Failure Is Not an Option
Released in VHS Tape by Artisan (Fox Video) (24 April, 2001)
MPAA Rating: R (Restricted)
Director: Robert Radler
Average review score:

Substitute 4...Need I Say More?
Well, here comes the forth and hopfully last in the Substitute series. They should have only made one. This show is not worthy of sequels. I guess that Artisan thought that they could profit off of this series. Don't get me wrong, Treat Williams is a great actor, it's just too bad that he always lands in the straight to video movies. (Everwood may take up a lot of his time now so he won't have to make these types of movies). Angie Everhart's acting is not superb but decent. As for the others, judge that for yourself. The only thing that caught my interest in this movie was the scene between Teague Ted and the girl. The guy who plays Teague Ted is so hot. Being a teen boy having the girl in this movie was nice to see too.

Watchable, but not the best installment of the series
While it's not a bad movie, The Substitute 4 is the worst of the 4 Substitute movies. One of the main reasons is the film quality. The first 3 movies seemed to have better "look" to them and seemed like they could have been shown in a theater. This one looks more like a straight to video release. Some parts of the movie are slow, but it still has enough action to keep you interested.

Treat Williams is good as usual. Angie Everhart is OK - but I don't know why she was there, and some of the bad guys are pretty bad actors. The fight scenes are ok - even if they are a little predictable. A "special effect" explosion at a dam is pretty funny looking. There's some decent nudity, the classroom fight scene is funny, and a kid falling on some spike at the dam was cool too. The final battle with the bad guy was cheesy - and like the other reviewer said - why would a racist have a asian henchman?! The twist with Everhart is a little unexplainable as well.

Not too bad (as far as sequels go)
As a big fan of The Substitute series (which explains the four stars), I didn't think it was that bad. Treat Williams gives his third performance as Karl Thomasson, and in this film he goes undercover(as usual) in a military academy to infiltrate a Neo-Nazi group. Lots of action, hand-to-hand combat (only to be expected from the Sub), and Angie Everhart provides some pleasing eye candy. If you're not too big on The Sub, this might not be the movie for you. If you are, it ain't that bad.


Alien Resurrection (Widescreen Edition)
Released in VHS Tape by Twentieth Century Fox (18 September, 2001)
MPAA Rating: R (Restricted)
Director: Jean-Pierre Jeunet
Starring: Sigourney Weaver and Winona Ryder
Perhaps these films are like the Star Trek movies: The even-numbered episodes are the best ones. Certainly this film (directed by French stylist Jean-Pierre Jeunet) is an improvement over Alien 3, with a script that breathes exciting new life into the franchise. This chapter is set even further in the future, where scientists on a space colony have cloned both the alien and Ripley (Sigourney Weaver), who died in Alien 3; in doing so, however, they've mixed alien DNA with Ripley's human chromosomes, which gives Ripley surprising power (and a bad attitude). A band of smugglers comes aboard only to discover the new race of aliens--and when the multi-mouthed melonheads get loose, no place is safe. But, on the plus side, they have Ripley as a guide to help them get out. Winona Ryder is on hand as the smugglers' most unlikely crew member (with a secret of her own), but this one is Sigourney's all the way. --Marshall Fine
Average review score:

Poor script = Disappointing movie
Upon hearing that another sequel to Alien was being made, I did not know whether to be optimistict or petrified. By killing all of the Aliens survivers off in Alien3, the series was ruined for me. Dispite that, I still payed $7 to see Resurrection. I should have saved my time and money because this movie was a complete waste. Resurrection is basicly a retread of the first 2 movies with cloning as the plot point used to bring Weaver, the star, back. Because we already know what the nature of the aliens is, they are no longer frightening as they were in "Alien". We know they have 2 sets of teeth and like to drip goo all over. This movie also was not as action packed as "Aliens". Not one time was I on the edge of my seat with my heart pounding so hard I thought everyone around me could hear it. Even the underwater chase seemed slow and dull compared to "Aliens". This movie also lacked interesting characters that we could sympathize with and cheer for. W.Ryder's character was underdeveloped and her story was never fleshed out. Also, Ryder was a very poor choice for this role. The 2 stars had absolutely no chemistry. My biggest gripe with this movie were the enormous inconsistencies in the story. Sometimes there would be acid for blood then other times, like the alien tongue scene, there would be none. Where did the eggs come from? Swimming underwater for more than 3 minutes? I don't think so. Was this movie supposed to be a comedy or was that just a accident??? If you want horror, rent Alien. If you want action rent Aliens. If you want to see a good movie, stay far away from this load of garbage.

Don't even bother with the bad critics.
Once again a new horror movie is out, and once again you'll find hundreds upon hundreds of critics saying the same unfathomably stupid thing: "it requires a great stretch of the imagination". WTF? This is a movie, you're looking at an image on a screen of people reding off lines that were given to them while computer generated creations chase them around. Of course it requires a stretch of the imagination, you fools, it's NOT REAL.

Anyway, as for the movie itself, I thought it was quite good and a big improvemnt over the highly dissapointing Alien 3. The plot is that Riply has been cloned, 200 years after she dies, in a plan to resurrect the alien species for miltary study. Of course all hell breaks loose when the aliens break out of their holding cells with a nice crew of hardass criminals to chase around. The acting is fine and the set is awesome in a dark, Nine Inch Nails video sort of way, but what I liked most was how the film really put the spotlight on the aliens. Here we're shown their true intelligence, particularly in their initial escape from their captures, and also treated to an impressive display of hydrodynamic grace. The queen alien is here too, but only briefly, due to the fact she is turned on by the grotesque hybrid Riply-alien, quite a disgusting looking monster. The new addition is all fine and good but I would have rather seen the queen in action, walking around and opening a can of whoop-a in all her new CGI glory.

Basically, amazing CGI affects on our extraterresrial friends and a sleek new look, a clever story, and cool comic book inspired action make for a darn good sci-fi thriller and a nice addition to the alien series.

Resurrection is a fun movie!
It has a lot of action and the crew of the Betty are likeable enough characters. People don't listen to the negative comments by some of these fools on here! This movie is way better than Alien 3 ever thought of being. If Alien 3 had been more like Alien Resurrection, I would not have been so disapointed by it. Alien Resurrection was just meant to be a fun action movie. If you want something as high class as Cameron's Aliens, get ready for Alien 5. Cameron has stated he will be doing this sequel and rectifying what Alien 3 did to his characters.


Snow White - The Fairest of Them All
Released in VHS Tape by Artisan (Fox Video) (28 May, 2002)
MPAA Rating: G (General Audience)
Director: Caroline Thompson
Don't expect to plunk your 4-year-old in front of Hallmark's Snow White and have her come away whistling "Heigh Ho"--it's not that kind of movie. Substitute a kingdom of woeful and broody characters (the fairest-of-them-all contenders and their king, plus a green and warty undead guy) for Sleepy, Sneezy, and company, and the picture, a bleak one, becomes clearer. Call it Snow White noir, but don't call it dull. The actors, including Miranda Richardson and Tom Irwin, suck you into their saga of lust and greed by making despair their specialty, and the visuals crackle with a creepy gorgeousness. Writer-director Caroline Thompson sheared this Brothers Grimm adaptation into shape using the same jagged-edged prettiness she brought to the script for Edward Scissorhands; a similar audience--one that can handle a little less light in its darkness--should stick around for Snow White. -Tammy La Gorce
Average review score:

Hallmark does it again
Another disappointing delivery from Hallmark, which is a pity, as Arabian Nights was excellent, and Merlin was pretty okay. I confess I was disturbed on one level: there was something terribly "Willy Wonca" about it. I think it was because the dwarves looked like oompah-loompah hybrids in their ridiculous rainbow costumes. The exceedingly wholesome and annoying dwarves are named after the days of the week (the Sleepy, Dopey, Grumpy thing was a Disney additive and no doubt copyrighted. In the original story they were nameless...) and these friendly fellows can - hold your breath for this one - conjure a magic rainbow and transport themselves about the countryside! There is also a giant dwarf dressed from head to toe in appalling yellow, apparently to inject some humour ... [shudder].

Leave this one on the shelf, folks; if you are above four years of age you might find it sickening.

'Mirror, mirror on the wall...'
Hallmark may not have a monopoly on dark fairy tales, but they certainly film them in style. This may not be the sugar-coated fantasy flick you remember hearing as a child, or even watching in the old Disney cartoon. This fairy tale is told the way that Grimm would tell it... with dark, sinister elements and fascinating plot twists. The seven dwarves (one of which is a girl) control the weather and are named for the days of the week. One of them is six foot tall. The Evil Queen is actually a hideous half-mortal whose brother, a genie, has given her a chance for happiness by giving her great beauty. The mirror plays a large role in the bewitching of Snow White's father, and Prince Alfred will soon face a challenge of his own.

There's something about the film that appealed to me... probably the darkness of the script, but also its reasoning and humor. I much enjoyed the psychological aspect of 'Snow White.' It's a magnificent retelling with gorgeous cinematography, a memorable score, and above all a magnificent performance by Miranda Richardson. I thought her enthralling as Queen Mab in Merlin; in 'Snow White' she shows us her full potential. I have doubts in Snow White herself, however... either the actress did not give her any passion, or her role was poorly written. Everyone else is just oozing with unique personality and depth, but this Snow White is a bland, brooding heroine with little to contrive interest in her.

What also fascinates me is that they chose to play out the climactic ending with Vera rather than Miranda... but shockingly, it works. She holds up well to the standard set by Richardson in the former scenes, although I did miss our lovely evil stepmother in-between. It's a script that reeks with clever ideas, memorable dialogue, and visual delights. Artisan has gone even beyond its success with The 10th Kingdom in masterful special effects that would put any Hollywood production to shame. The costuming is gorgeous, the sets in keeping with a fairy-tale like Medieval existence, and the cinematography is breathtaking, right from the opening shot to the ending panorama. The writer/director knew what she was doing.

But even gorgeously filmed as it is, you aren't going to want to plunk your little sister down in front of this one unaware. The script is very dark and contains sinister plot twists, frightening circumstances, hideous creatures, and some psychological elements. Preview first.

It's Finally Here!
After searching Amazon.com for what feels like years, this great version of Snow White is finally out on DVD. As most reviewers have already said, this movie is visually stunning - everything scene is bright and colourful, giving it a truly twenty-first century fairytale look to it. Costumes in particular are lovely whether it be the rainbow outfits of the dwarves or Snow White's own princess-wardrobe.
The story harks back more to the Grimm's fairytale, but contrary to other opinions (including the editorial review) I think this movie is perfectly kid-friendly. I played it for the reasonably sensitive kids I babysit for (aged five to eight) and they were perfectly fine with it - let's give children some credit!
Following the Grimm version, the wood-dwelling couple John and Josephine give birth to a baby daughter according to Jo's wishes when she pricked her finger on a rosebush: a child with hair black as ebony, lips red as blood and skin as white as snow. However when the difficult birth takes Jo's life, John is forced to leave their home to fetch milk for his daughter. He stumbles through the snow, unable to find the village and only survives when his tears melt the icy prison of the Green-Eyed Granter of Wishes, who grants John three wishes in gratitude. Hardly able to believe the situation, John wishes for milk, a kingdom and his queen. The first two are easy work for the genie, but for John's 'queen', the genie goes to his sister Elspeth, an ugly wench who lives to spread misery over the forest creatures (she has a garden of 'real' garden gnomes!) Transforming her into a beautiful woman she gleefully forces John to fall in love with her through the use of a magic mirror, leaving her with a husband to manipulate, a kingdom to rule, and a stepdaughter to manipulate...
Though many may not of realised it if they were not fairytale lovers, the movie actually adds quite a lot of components from the Hans Christian Anderson fairytale 'The Snow Queen', namely the role of the mirror. When Elspeth shatters it, two shards fly into John - one in his eye and one into his heart - the same thing that happens to Kay in Anderson's tale. I suspect many people were confused at the whole mirror sequence if they weren't familiar with this other story.
In keeping in line with the Grimm's story, the movie does include the sash that squeezes the breath out of Snow White as well as the famous apple, but unfortunatly not the poisoned comb. Another fault was that like so may Hallmark productions they do not tie up the ends properly - in this case the plot line concerning Snow White and her mother. When on the run through the woods Snow White stumbles across her mother's grave, and when Elspeth prepares the apple she disguises herself as Josephine, and yet no words are spoken between father and daughter about her at the conclusion of the movie. Likewise I'm not quite sure what did happen to Elspeth - did she really get mauled by angry garden gnomes? It was a shallow end for such a complex character.
In terms of performances, Miranda Richardson obviously stole the spotlight from everyone. She plays her role with great pizzazz from the twisted, bitter hag to the joyful maiden to the jealous and suspecting wife. Kirstin Kreuk definitely looks the part of Snow White with her lovely features and dark hair, but delivers some of her lines a bit awkwardly - however the role of an ideal fairytale princess is a difficult one to play, so we'll let her off. Tom Irwin does all right for a man totally under his wife's thumb, but luckily his performance makes him more a sympathetic character than one to be sneered at. The dwarves have a rather minor role, but certainly stand out in their costumes and ability to transform into a rainbow - the relationship between Snow White and Sunday is especially touching.
Overall this movie is a good one, if not just for its gorgeous appearence - from the elegant yet simple palace to the quiet, peaceful woodlands; the elabourate costumes, the colourful makeup, the subtle yet beautiful special effects, I could go on...


Metalstorm
Released in VHS Tape by Universal Studios (29 May, 2001)
MPAA Rating: PG (Parental Guidance Suggested)
Director: Charles Band
Average review score:

WRETCHED!!!
It seems as though most of the reviewers have seen this film on cable, tv or video. I remember going to see this film when I was 14 in 1983. This film along with Jaws 3-D were released in 1983 and I was caught up in the whole 3-D thing. While at the time I found Jaws 3-D to be at least suspenseful I, as a teenager, was going to walk out of this horrible film. The only reason I stayed was because I paid for this movie and I wasn't going to walk out on something I paid good money for. In retrospect I think I did more harm in staying. I don't remember the plot the characters or much else. What I do remember is the I the rage that I felt at having wasted time and money by watching this film. The only way I could ever re-watch this film is if it airs on Mystery Theater so that I can poke fun at this film with the hosts of that show.

classic right up there with mad max
I know this movie isn't of the highest quality and certainly not worth the asking price, but it is a good b movie.

Metalstorm: The Definitive Biography
Metalstorm: The very word conjures up not only images of a groundbreaking film, but also memories of a lesson learned. A lesson, my friends, about life. "I have the power of the crystal!" shouts Jared Syn, in one spectacularly memorable scene.
Therein, perhaps, lies the secret to this film's enduring status in the annals of American film triumphs. Dogan, you'll recall, is searching for JS due to a violation of the peace treaty. This is sheer Americana, a rousing tribute not only to old western films but to old American frontiersmen themselves. Dogan's Davy Crockett is seeking out JS's Santa Anna in order to preserve the land. JS, however, injects a religious element heretofore unscene in other so-called "great films" like Star Wars, Road Warrior or Tootsie. The power of the crystal, though ill-defined, certainly trumps the wimpish "Force" from Star Wars. Man, have you thought about it?! Baal, while admittedly lacking any strong physical resemblance to his old man, represents both the biblical prodigal son as well as the figurative "son-who's-so-dumb-he'll take-a-knife-in-the-stomach-for-his-father-while-his-father-escapes-on-a-paper-mache-rocket-cycle" character made popular in the Hardy Boys series. Hurok, the one-eyed gentle giant and mental midget so easily duped by JS, Dogan and even the moronic Rhodes character, is our new Kissinger - I'm not sure why exactly. Some things in this movie are even beyond my capabilities. But it is the ending, perhaps, that has rattled the cages of so many of us for so many years. Recall the subtitle to this film: The Destruction of Jared Syn. And while JS is not destroyed, our faith in our own religiosity (along with the souls of everyone in the crystal itself like Dogan's girlfriend's father when he inexplicably shoots the thing) is shattered, (much like Rhode's head when he gets hit by that ball with spikes on it. Whew! In 3-D I thought it was gonna by MY head!) But once again I find it necessary to waste words. Waste no more time, I say, but range straight out in your oversized car with unnecessary gadgets and that only goes 20mph in the desert and that explodes for no reason whatsoever, and get this film. In the words of our hero Dogan himself: "We seek the same Jared Syn, but for different reasons." There are many reasons to see this film, my friends. Pick one. And maybe we'll meet to discuss it later. In the pit...


Metalstorm - the Destruction of Jared-Syn
Released in VHS Tape by Universal Studios (29 May, 2001)
MPAA Rating: PG (Parental Guidance Suggested)
Director: Charles Band
Average review score:

WRETCHED!!!
It seems as though most of the reviewers have seen this film on cable, tv or video. I remember going to see this film when I was 14 in 1983. This film along with Jaws 3-D were released in 1983 and I was caught up in the whole 3-D thing. While at the time I found Jaws 3-D to be at least suspenseful I, as a teenager, was going to walk out of this horrible film. The only reason I stayed was because I paid for this movie and I wasn't going to walk out on something I paid good money for. In retrospect I think I did more harm in staying. I don't remember the plot the characters or much else. What I do remember is the I the rage that I felt at having wasted time and money by watching this film. The only way I could ever re-watch this film is if it airs on Mystery Theater so that I can poke fun at this film with the hosts of that show.

classic right up there with mad max
I know this movie isn't of the highest quality and certainly not worth the asking price, but it is a good b movie.

Metalstorm: The Definitive Biography
Metalstorm: The very word conjures up not only images of a groundbreaking film, but also memories of a lesson learned. A lesson, my friends, about life. "I have the power of the crystal!" shouts Jared Syn, in one spectacularly memorable scene.
Therein, perhaps, lies the secret to this film's enduring status in the annals of American film triumphs. Dogan, you'll recall, is searching for JS due to a violation of the peace treaty. This is sheer Americana, a rousing tribute not only to old western films but to old American frontiersmen themselves. Dogan's Davy Crockett is seeking out JS's Santa Anna in order to preserve the land. JS, however, injects a religious element heretofore unscene in other so-called "great films" like Star Wars, Road Warrior or Tootsie. The power of the crystal, though ill-defined, certainly trumps the wimpish "Force" from Star Wars. Man, have you thought about it?! Baal, while admittedly lacking any strong physical resemblance to his old man, represents both the biblical prodigal son as well as the figurative "son-who's-so-dumb-he'll take-a-knife-in-the-stomach-for-his-father-while-his-father-escapes-on-a-paper-mache-rocket-cycle" character made popular in the Hardy Boys series. Hurok, the one-eyed gentle giant and mental midget so easily duped by JS, Dogan and even the moronic Rhodes character, is our new Kissinger - I'm not sure why exactly. Some things in this movie are even beyond my capabilities. But it is the ending, perhaps, that has rattled the cages of so many of us for so many years. Recall the subtitle to this film: The Destruction of Jared Syn. And while JS is not destroyed, our faith in our own religiosity (along with the souls of everyone in the crystal itself like Dogan's girlfriend's father when he inexplicably shoots the thing) is shattered, (much like Rhode's head when he gets hit by that ball with spikes on it. Whew! In 3-D I thought it was gonna by MY head!) But once again I find it necessary to waste words. Waste no more time, I say, but range straight out in your oversized car with unnecessary gadgets and that only goes 20mph in the desert and that explodes for no reason whatsoever, and get this film. In the words of our hero Dogan himself: "We seek the same Jared Syn, but for different reasons." There are many reasons to see this film, my friends. Pick one. And maybe we'll meet to discuss it later. In the pit...


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