Vincent-Schiavelli Movie Reviews

I enjoyed this film because of the interesting cast of characters, and constant plot twists. If you have ever played the game "Clue" and enjoy "who done it" mysteries, then you will enjoy this film. However, often times the attempts at crude humor can be a turn off. I still would recommend this movie to anyone looking for a good movie.

Another disappointing delivery from Hallmark, which is a pity, as Arabian Nights was excellent, and Merlin was pretty okay. I confess I was disturbed on one level: there was something terribly "Willy Wonca" about it. I think it was because the dwarves looked like oompah-loompah hybrids in their ridiculous rainbow costumes. The exceedingly wholesome and annoying dwarves are named after the days of the week (the Sleepy, Dopey, Grumpy thing was a Disney additive and no doubt copyrighted. In the original story they were nameless...) and these friendly fellows can - hold your breath for this one - conjure a magic rainbow and transport themselves about the countryside! There is also a giant dwarf dressed from head to toe in appalling yellow, apparently to inject some humour ... [shudder].

Leave this one on the shelf, folks; if you are above four years of age you might find it sickening.

Hallmark may not have a monopoly on dark fairy tales, but they certainly film them in style. This may not be the sugar-coated fantasy flick you remember hearing as a child, or even watching in the old Disney cartoon. This fairy tale is told the way that Grimm would tell it... with dark, sinister elements and fascinating plot twists. The seven dwarves (one of which is a girl) control the weather and are named for the days of the week. One of them is six foot tall. The Evil Queen is actually a hideous half-mortal whose brother, a genie, has given her a chance for happiness by giving her great beauty. The mirror plays a large role in the bewitching of Snow White's father, and Prince Alfred will soon face a challenge of his own.

There's something about the film that appealed to me... probably the darkness of the script, but also its reasoning and humor. I much enjoyed the psychological aspect of 'Snow White.' It's a magnificent retelling with gorgeous cinematography, a memorable score, and above all a magnificent performance by Miranda Richardson. I thought her enthralling as Queen Mab in Merlin; in 'Snow White' she shows us her full potential. I have doubts in Snow White herself, however... either the actress did not give her any passion, or her role was poorly written. Everyone else is just oozing with unique personality and depth, but this Snow White is a bland, brooding heroine with little to contrive interest in her.

What also fascinates me is that they chose to play out the climactic ending with Vera rather than Miranda... but shockingly, it works. She holds up well to the standard set by Richardson in the former scenes, although I did miss our lovely evil stepmother in-between. It's a script that reeks with clever ideas, memorable dialogue, and visual delights. Artisan has gone even beyond its success with The 10th Kingdom in masterful special effects that would put any Hollywood production to shame. The costuming is gorgeous, the sets in keeping with a fairy-tale like Medieval existence, and the cinematography is breathtaking, right from the opening shot to the ending panorama. The writer/director knew what she was doing.

But even gorgeously filmed as it is, you aren't going to want to plunk your little sister down in front of this one unaware. The script is very dark and contains sinister plot twists, frightening circumstances, hideous creatures, and some psychological elements. Preview first.

After searching Amazon.com for what feels like years, this great version of Snow White is finally out on DVD. As most reviewers have already said, this movie is visually stunning - everything scene is bright and colourful, giving it a truly twenty-first century fairytale look to it. Costumes in particular are lovely whether it be the rainbow outfits of the dwarves or Snow White's own princess-wardrobe.
The story harks back more to the Grimm's fairytale, but contrary to other opinions (including the editorial review) I think this movie is perfectly kid-friendly. I played it for the reasonably sensitive kids I babysit for (aged five to eight) and they were perfectly fine with it - let's give children some credit!
Following the Grimm version, the wood-dwelling couple John and Josephine give birth to a baby daughter according to Jo's wishes when she pricked her finger on a rosebush: a child with hair black as ebony, lips red as blood and skin as white as snow. However when the difficult birth takes Jo's life, John is forced to leave their home to fetch milk for his daughter. He stumbles through the snow, unable to find the village and only survives when his tears melt the icy prison of the Green-Eyed Granter of Wishes, who grants John three wishes in gratitude. Hardly able to believe the situation, John wishes for milk, a kingdom and his queen. The first two are easy work for the genie, but for John's 'queen', the genie goes to his sister Elspeth, an ugly wench who lives to spread misery over the forest creatures (she has a garden of 'real' garden gnomes!) Transforming her into a beautiful woman she gleefully forces John to fall in love with her through the use of a magic mirror, leaving her with a husband to manipulate, a kingdom to rule, and a stepdaughter to manipulate...
Though many may not of realised it if they were not fairytale lovers, the movie actually adds quite a lot of components from the Hans Christian Anderson fairytale 'The Snow Queen', namely the role of the mirror. When Elspeth shatters it, two shards fly into John - one in his eye and one into his heart - the same thing that happens to Kay in Anderson's tale. I suspect many people were confused at the whole mirror sequence if they weren't familiar with this other story.
In keeping in line with the Grimm's story, the movie does include the sash that squeezes the breath out of Snow White as well as the famous apple, but unfortunatly not the poisoned comb. Another fault was that like so may Hallmark productions they do not tie up the ends properly - in this case the plot line concerning Snow White and her mother. When on the run through the woods Snow White stumbles across her mother's grave, and when Elspeth prepares the apple she disguises herself as Josephine, and yet no words are spoken between father and daughter about her at the conclusion of the movie. Likewise I'm not quite sure what did happen to Elspeth - did she really get mauled by angry garden gnomes? It was a shallow end for such a complex character.
In terms of performances, Miranda Richardson obviously stole the spotlight from everyone. She plays her role with great pizzazz from the twisted, bitter hag to the joyful maiden to the jealous and suspecting wife. Kirstin Kreuk definitely looks the part of Snow White with her lovely features and dark hair, but delivers some of her lines a bit awkwardly - however the role of an ideal fairytale princess is a difficult one to play, so we'll let her off. Tom Irwin does all right for a man totally under his wife's thumb, but luckily his performance makes him more a sympathetic character than one to be sneered at. The dwarves have a rather minor role, but certainly stand out in their costumes and ability to transform into a rainbow - the relationship between Snow White and Sunday is especially touching.
Overall this movie is a good one, if not just for its gorgeous appearence - from the elegant yet simple palace to the quiet, peaceful woodlands; the elabourate costumes, the colourful makeup, the subtle yet beautiful special effects, I could go on...

This movie is your average funny black comedy, Brian Hooks plays a man who has been in jail twice and is out on parole, one more strike and he is out (25 to life), its a humourous comedy about the miscoincidenes that happen to him just after he is out of jail, he is caught in a stolen car and is then seeked by the police.

I don't understand why this movie was dissed so hard by the other reviewers. I saw a lot of people write that they were offended by the movie. I guess if you're offended extremely easily, don't see it. But if you like a funny movie to just watch and chill out to check it out. Faizon Love and Brian Hooks were the funniest.

THIS MOVIE WAS VERY FUNNY, THEY MADE THIS MOVIE VERY FUNNY. I LIKE THE WHOLE THING. HE GOT IN TROUBLE AS SOON AS HE GOT OUT OF JAIL. ITS CRAZY. HOW U GONE GET UR 3RD STRILE AS SOON AS U GET OUT OF JAIL. ITS FUNNY IF U HAVENT SEEN IT THEN U SHOULD GO AND SEE IT.

This movie is your average funny black comedy, Brian Hooks plays a man who has been in jail twice and is out on parole, one more strike and he is out (25 to life), its a humourous comedy about the miscoincidenes that happen to him just after he is out of jail, he is caught in a stolen car and is then seeked by the police.

I don't understand why this movie was dissed so hard by the other reviewers. I saw a lot of people write that they were offended by the movie. I guess if you're offended extremely easily, don't see it. But if you like a funny movie to just watch and chill out to check it out. Faizon Love and Brian Hooks were the funniest.

THIS MOVIE WAS VERY FUNNY, THEY MADE THIS MOVIE VERY FUNNY. I LIKE THE WHOLE THING. HE GOT IN TROUBLE AS SOON AS HE GOT OUT OF JAIL. ITS CRAZY. HOW U GONE GET UR 3RD STRILE AS SOON AS U GET OUT OF JAIL. ITS FUNNY IF U HAVENT SEEN IT THEN U SHOULD GO AND SEE IT.

I don't know how or why anyone ever gave washed up cult star wonderboy Bud Cort the opportunity to Write, Star In , AND Direct an entire film! The life and career of Mr. Cort has always been a somewhat morbid fascination of mine (we've all heard the analogy of the train wreck... so horrible, yet strangely intriguing, and I just can't look away). Plot is extremely weak. No meaningful character development in any fashion. Ted (Cort) was mentally devoid, greasy, and creepy as hell... In the movie, too! His object of desire was a pretty girl (the basic object of anyone's desire physically), however she was immature, very unintelligent, and was dating a totally gross, ugly guy whom I refer to as (the human foot), for reasons that will be obvious if you are ever so unfortunate as to be forced to sit through the whole thing. The number of cameos is disgusting.( a sort of charity work for people who co-starred in faerie tale theatre productions with bud, and an attempt to reunite the cast of Cheers). If a kind word were to be forced out of me regarding this movie, I guess I'd have to say it was the gratuitous nudity. It ordinarily brings down a movie's integrity, but in the case of "TED AND VENUS" it actually added at least 30 seconds of base-level entertainment. Vomit.

The first time I viewed this movie, frankly I was sickened. It is not a pretty picture. There is not one person protrayed that I would actually like to meet. However it haunted me, I couldn't forget it. I tried to tell myself it was silly, dated, couldn't decide if it was a comedy or just a mix of whatever. I ended up watching it again, and the second veiwing was very different. I found that I saw a definate "courage" in the acting and directing of Bud Cort. This is a man that is not afraid to put himself out there, in the worse possible light i.e. a mentally unstable stalker. There is one scene where he is running away from the court ordered mental hospital, running down a hill, if you look closely, you will see the attention to detail that Bud Cort used. Ted's fly is open. There is scene after scene of this detail and attention to charater in this film. I began to look differently at all the people protrayed, since this was a true story and set in the time period that the film was made. Some people are not pretty, and are unstable, but have depth and talent, while others are pretty and shallow, or self-centered, or angry, or stoned and living by whole different set of rules. The poetry and language are skocking even by todays standards, and powerful. The whole movie shows the contradictions in people,and in life. And while Ted is clearly wrong..he was clearly wronged also. And his "Venus", bless her clueless little heart was in all honesty more fearful of the passion, and repulision of that same passion that Ted brought out in her than she was ever fearful of Ted personally. Bud Cort doesn't let either of his stars off easily in this film,(He plays Ted) they both are flawed, and in major denial, Ted's flaws are just not socially exceptable. The final scene is heart wrenching, and horrible to watch. The whole of the film is a vision in horror. Bud Cort makes his points here beautifully with one of the ugliest movies I have ever seen. I would personally watch anything with Bud Corts name on it now. I have ended up watching Ted and Venus several times, and each time I find something new. not for everyone!

When I was in college I took this class called Stage Directing. It was a great class. For my final project I directed a scene from Stephen Soundheim's wacky and profound musical ASSASSINS. After my scene ran, the only big problem everybody seemed to think it had was, THAT MAYBE THE CHARACTERS SHOULD SCREAM A LITTLE LESS. IT'S KIND OF ANNOYING IF THEY DO AND MANY TIMES IT'S FAR MORE EFFECTIVE IF THEY SEETH OR GET SOFT INSTEAD OF BEING AT THE SCREAMING LEVEL THE WHOLE TIME. NOW SINCE I'VE BEGUN SCREAMING AT YOU, YOU'RE ALL PROBABLY PISSED AND WANT TO STOP READING. Please don't there is a good explanation for my screaming.

It's the only way I can get close to describing the mess that is AMERICAN VIRIGN. A movie that is so bad, and so incredibly vapid that you can track Mena Suvari's (LOSER) fading career by it. When director SAM MENDES cast her in AMERICAN BEAUTY, I'll bet many people thought she was destined for a nice long career. Maybe, that's why a film like AMERICAN PIE looks like a step down and it's sub par sequel is even worse. But when she agreed to play a tart in AMERICAN VIRGIN, I guess her career went down the tubes with the word American.

The film tells the story of porn baron Ronny Bartalotti (Robert Loggia, Lost Highway); he's a harsh abrasive individual that loves his daughter Katrina (Suvari) very much. He would do anything for her. Too bad she doesn't see it in her father. When she agrees to work for her Dad's former employee and biggest rival Joey Quinn (Bob Hoskins, Who Framed Roger Rabbit) by losing her virginity to millions of men around the world on national TV using a virtual reality suit. It's up to dear old dad to save his sweetheart.

As this movie rolls out you begin to realize something. Nothing makes sense. It's like the director (Jean-Pierre Marois, Save the Rabbits) was given a bunch of characters and chucked a camera in their face. Loggia and Hoskins spend the entire film screaming and yelling at each other. Yes, each actor just screams, A lot! It's like Marois got mad at each actor, telling them both, you need to scream more. The movie needs more screaming. How this film got past the editing stage with so much screaming and yelling in it, is beyond me?

There is also a subplot involving a boyfriend (Gabriel Mann, Buffalo Soldiers) whose whole goal is to bump into things and fall from high places. There is also a trashy TV talk show host (Sally Kellerman, MASH) who shows up everywhere as well, cause for some reason all Talk shows are live, and have a desire to cover events like this.

The film is attempting to be a satire. But of what I'm not sure. It's like any coherent (and funny) idea was left on the cutting room floor, replaced by random scenes. There is this one scene involving a porn star that can't get it up, that goes on far to long and in the end it makes very little sense? Why it's in this movie? I guess to stretch the running time. I almost turned it off at that point.

Why anyone thought this meandering script was ripe for the plucking is beyond me. I had a pal in Los Angeles who came across a script called "****." It was the worst script ever written, but damn it had more potential than this piece of crap.

Do yourself a favor if you're passing down the video aisle and you come across a film called AMERICAN VIRGIN! Skip it! You'll be so glad you did.

I read about "American Virgin" when it was still called "Live Virgin" on an British movie magazine, and the review then was not good at all. Now I found its title changed owing to Mena Suvari's rising stardom, and I got it on Amazon co. jp. (Thanks for your fast delivery). Well, I tell you, fans of lovely Mena, I found this turns out to be really ... bad.

Let me correct one misunderstanding (if you have) on your side that this is a Mena Suvari film. No. It's stars are Robert Loggia ("Independence Day") and Bob Hoskins ("Monalisa"), and Mena plays the secondary role no matter what you see on the video jacket. The male players are adult film directors, and kind of rivals to each other. And daddy Robert finds her daughter Mena Suvari is going to 'star' in Bob's live-net show, in which Mena loses her virginity, sharing the experience on the net with audience wearing green-colored techno-suits which give the same sensation the lucky guy is going to have.... Oh dear.

But of course, this is a comedy, and actually I found little nudity (and none of Mena, thank Heaven), so guys, don't be mistaken. The film is totally devoid of humor, and the two veteran actors are only swearing dirty words in public, on TV, and whenever they get a chance, and the film seems to think it's funny. Mena's boyfriend is a crying mama's boy, and trying to do something to change her mind, always breaks something in an awkward way. But I never found a single moment even slightly funny during the course ... but remember, I am a Japanese, and that's because cultural diference. But I laughed lots of good and healthy laughs while watching "American Pie."

Probably, besides the dismally made sequel to "Carrie," this is a film Mena Suvari wants to forget. If you're a truly devoted fan of her, watch it.

You have a movie called American Virgin - it stars Mena Suvari and has the comical Bob Hoskins - why was I bored?
It has a really good concept and the cast sounds really appealing but it was not as I expected it.

Mena Suvari plays the Live Virgin who will lose her virginity on air when she hits 18. I felt that her character was dense and was not brought out enough.

Bob Hoskins plays the director of Live Virgin. He has some great humour and his character is great...but there was something missing.

I think there is something missing from the movie as a whole. Although there are some funny moments I felt a little uninterested as the film progressed. And then you have the big finale which is exactly as I expected...happy ever after. Why for once can't they break the rules and have a satisfying/entertaining ending?
The movie is watchable and not a bad attempt at all.

When I was in college I took this class called Stage Directing. It was a great class. For my final project I directed a scene from Stephen Soundheim's wacky and profound musical ASSASSINS. After my scene ran, the only big problem everybody seemed to think it had was, THAT MAYBE THE CHARACTERS SHOULD SCREAM A LITTLE LESS. IT'S KIND OF ANNOYING IF THEY DO AND MANY TIMES IT'S FAR MORE EFFECTIVE IF THEY SEETH OR GET SOFT INSTEAD OF BEING AT THE SCREAMING LEVEL THE WHOLE TIME. NOW SINCE I'VE BEGUN SCREAMING AT YOU, YOU'RE ALL PROBABLY PISSED AND WANT TO STOP READING. Please don't there is a good explanation for my screaming.

It's the only way I can get close to describing the mess that is AMERICAN VIRIGN. A movie that is so bad, and so incredibly vapid that you can track Mena Suvari's (LOSER) fading career by it. When director SAM MENDES cast her in AMERICAN BEAUTY, I'll bet many people thought she was destined for a nice long career. Maybe, that's why a film like AMERICAN PIE looks like a step down and it's sub par sequel is even worse. But when she agreed to play a tart in AMERICAN VIRGIN, I guess her career went down the tubes with the word American.

The film tells the story of porn baron Ronny Bartalotti (Robert Loggia, Lost Highway); he's a harsh abrasive individual that loves his daughter Katrina (Suvari) very much. He would do anything for her. Too bad she doesn't see it in her father. When she agrees to work for her Dad's former employee and biggest rival Joey Quinn (Bob Hoskins, Who Framed Roger Rabbit) by losing her virginity to millions of men around the world on national TV using a virtual reality suit. It's up to dear old dad to save his sweetheart.

As this movie rolls out you begin to realize something. Nothing makes sense. It's like the director (Jean-Pierre Marois, Save the Rabbits) was given a bunch of characters and chucked a camera in their face. Loggia and Hoskins spend the entire film screaming and yelling at each other. Yes, each actor just screams, A lot! It's like Marois got mad at each actor, telling them both, you need to scream more. The movie needs more screaming. How this film got past the editing stage with so much screaming and yelling in it, is beyond me?

There is also a subplot involving a boyfriend (Gabriel Mann, Buffalo Soldiers) whose whole goal is to bump into things and fall from high places. There is also a trashy TV talk show host (Sally Kellerman, MASH) who shows up everywhere as well, cause for some reason all Talk shows are live, and have a desire to cover events like this.

The film is attempting to be a satire. But of what I'm not sure. It's like any coherent (and funny) idea was left on the cutting room floor, replaced by random scenes. There is this one scene involving a porn star that can't get it up, that goes on far to long and in the end it makes very little sense? Why it's in this movie? I guess to stretch the running time. I almost turned it off at that point.

Why anyone thought this meandering script was ripe for the plucking is beyond me. I had a pal in Los Angeles who came across a script called "****." It was the worst script ever written, but damn it had more potential than this piece of crap.

Do yourself a favor if you're passing down the video aisle and you come across a film called AMERICAN VIRGIN! Skip it! You'll be so glad you did.

I read about "American Virgin" when it was still called "Live Virgin" on an British movie magazine, and the review then was not good at all. Now I found its title changed owing to Mena Suvari's rising stardom, and I got it on Amazon co. jp. (Thanks for your fast delivery). Well, I tell you, fans of lovely Mena, I found this turns out to be really ... bad.

Let me correct one misunderstanding (if you have) on your side that this is a Mena Suvari film. No. It's stars are Robert Loggia ("Independence Day") and Bob Hoskins ("Monalisa"), and Mena plays the secondary role no matter what you see on the video jacket. The male players are adult film directors, and kind of rivals to each other. And daddy Robert finds her daughter Mena Suvari is going to 'star' in Bob's live-net show, in which Mena loses her virginity, sharing the experience on the net with audience wearing green-colored techno-suits which give the same sensation the lucky guy is going to have.... Oh dear.

But of course, this is a comedy, and actually I found little nudity (and none of Mena, thank Heaven), so guys, don't be mistaken. The film is totally devoid of humor, and the two veteran actors are only swearing dirty words in public, on TV, and whenever they get a chance, and the film seems to think it's funny. Mena's boyfriend is a crying mama's boy, and trying to do something to change her mind, always breaks something in an awkward way. But I never found a single moment even slightly funny during the course ... but remember, I am a Japanese, and that's because cultural diference. But I laughed lots of good and healthy laughs while watching "American Pie."

Probably, besides the dismally made sequel to "Carrie," this is a film Mena Suvari wants to forget. If you're a truly devoted fan of her, watch it.

You have a movie called American Virgin - it stars Mena Suvari and has the comical Bob Hoskins - why was I bored?
It has a really good concept and the cast sounds really appealing but it was not as I expected it.

Mena Suvari plays the Live Virgin who will lose her virginity on air when she hits 18. I felt that her character was dense and was not brought out enough.

Bob Hoskins plays the director of Live Virgin. He has some great humour and his character is great...but there was something missing.

I think there is something missing from the movie as a whole. Although there are some funny moments I felt a little uninterested as the film progressed. And then you have the big finale which is exactly as I expected...happy ever after. Why for once can't they break the rules and have a satisfying/entertaining ending?
The movie is watchable and not a bad attempt at all.